great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize