yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize