Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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