I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
