OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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