you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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