he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
