piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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