I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
