How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
