mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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