Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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