Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
