i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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