You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
