I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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