I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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