I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
operation have a gay friend backfired
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
