You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
