i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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