i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
