i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
