I have demons in me.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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