I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
