Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
