it hurts more in the daytime
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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