Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
