I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
did you just send me my own nude
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
