WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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