I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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