she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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