This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Just invented taco cereal.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
