i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
