I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
