Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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