ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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