piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
NoShamevember. You game?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
