Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
