dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
