apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
