4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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