i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
