So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
