Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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