thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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