it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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