It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
