so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize