i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
