I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
