Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
