That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
