i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
