do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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