i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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