She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
