Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
