All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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