its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize