maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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