i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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