I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
