sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize