I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
