I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
